Read an obsolete blog i wrote a few years ago.. an abandoned one which i discontinued cos it was so negative i cldnt stand it myself.. lol..
and my very first entry on it spoke to me.. now.. at this point..
things that still matter to me..
to remind me who i was..
who i am..
["There's a wisdom in the teachings of the old familiar songs and a sorrow in repeating all the old familiar wrongs..."
A lot of thoughts but mind suddenly blank now, at the point of writing. thoughts about life, about myself, about the people around me... life is so unpredictable, yet sometimes when we reflect, there seems to be a force at work, something we can roughly comprehend, even roughly expect, but sometimes its just hard for us to accept, to face with courage. The past, the present, the future... there's nothing which we can seem to say for sure... sometimes its just so hard to face one's past, people that I've known that I choose to keep to myself and do nothing about it, though I know it may not be the right way to handle, to think, but who is to say what the right way is, what is wrong... human relationships can be so complicated sometimes, only you know what you really mean when you say certain stuff, what others perceive of you, your words, your character can be so diverse...can make you feel so tired that you just want to hide in a corner,do what you like and not have to care about other people, just you and yourself...this may sound selfish but I guess most of us feel this way sometimes...
I wonder if I'm silly but to me, I place love on a very high place in my heart...when it comes to love, I tend to give alot, do my best to make the other party happy...I can say love is almost everything to me, it means so much to me even though it can cause me to feel hurt sometimes...no matter how many things there are in my life, love is still the most important to me... sometimes even I myself can't understand why I'm like that... I know its dangerous for me to have this thinking towards love, that I should have other priorities at the same level...I do have dreams i hope to fulfil, goals in my mind but ultimately, they are overshadowed by love...cant find any viable reason for this... love the song "Sometimes love just ain't enough"..."and there's a danger in loving somebody too much, and it's sad when you know, its your heart, you can't trust (they can't touch)..."...these words are so true, so close to heart... when you love someone more than he loves you... does it matter? or is it a selfish thinking? that you'll shine your light only on him and wish that he would also shine his light only on you...
Sometimes, I do wish I wasn't such an emotional person, then maybe I won't be as affected by what happens around me...but will I like who I am if I'm not the present me now? Will things be better or will it be worse? Who can safely say for themselves? 
Like Arwen to Aragorn, I can give up immortality, eternity, in exchange for just one lifetime with the person I love, truly. I'm contended to do that, no matter how silly it may sound, no matter how great the price is.]
this
is
me.
